Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s Magazine | Issue 03

Lovely Baby May

Written and Photo by Alyssa May

On December 22nd my husband and I went to the doctor for my anatomy scan. I was 20 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our first baby. They took us to the ultrasound room and did the ultrasound. While being in there for 5 minutes, the tech had mention it was a small baby. I thought it was weird but we stayed positive. After a little bit they finally pulled us back in exam room. The doctor sat down and told us they didn’t find a heartbeat. She then told us our baby stopped growing at 13 to 15 weeks. So many things ran through my head in that moment. We were absolutely devastated. I looked at my baby bump and automatically felt like I didn’t deserve to have it. Like it was all a lie. Before this appointment I had no signs of anything being wrong. For all I knew everything was still fine. I then proceeded to find out what our next steps were (I swear it was like pulling teeth to get any information from her). After talking things over we decided the best option for us was to be induced. 

On December 29th at 4 am we drove to the hospital. They checked me in and got me started on medicine to bring my body into labor. We sat there all day waiting. They would give me a pill, the contractions would start and then I would take pain medicine (I didn’t want to feel much of what was taking place). Around 11:30 pm contractions got really bad. I woke up from a nap in pain. They gave me more pain meds and before I knew it I felt like it was time to push. The doctor came in and said okay. They got me ready put plastic underneath me and I started pushing. I kept taking 5 min breaks, falling asleep, then breathing in and pushing again. I was falling asleep due to the medicine and could barley stay awake but I did my best. This was my first time ever having a baby.  The doctor seemed uncomfortable even touching me. I started at 12 am and it went on until 4 am. The doctor finally told me to rest. Our baby was half way out, they sat me up hoping gravity would help and told me they would be back in 30 mins to an hour.

I woke up 4 hours later around 8 am to my husband asking if he had missed it. They left the stuff from the night before and he woke up thinking they came back. They never did. The new nurse on shift came in and we asked if gravity had helped. She went and got the new doctor on shift and they checked with the ultrasound machine. Both agreed I was ready. The doctor assisted me and on December 30th at 8:58 am our baby boy was born. I got to hold him and the doctor informed me that he had been passed for a while. This cleared up some worry with not being in the ultrasound room for very long or having them explain very much. 

Sometimes life throws things at us that we never expect. This was definitely one of those for us. Our sweet boy was loved and we planned for him. However life does continue. We will never forget him and the very short time we had with him. We both have found peace knowing he is in heaven with some of our family members and friends. I hope that this story helps someone who is just as confused and shocked as I was. I always thought if anything was wrong during my pregnancy that my body would give me signs. That just wasn’t the case in this situation. 

Sisterhood Of Angel Mama’s Magazine