Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s Magazine | Bereaved Mother’s Day Edition
My Sweet Angels
Written and Photos by Courtney Halliday Wise
My name is Courtney and my story starts in 2015. We were so excited to be pregnant with our son, my second child. Things were going good up until I was 20 weeks pregnant, I went to the doctor and told him I was cramping and he said I was fine and sent me home. Later that evening the cramps didn’t stop so we went to the ER and by the time we got there I was dilated and my son was on his way. We had our sweet boy Cylis Lee at 1lb 1oz and 11 inches long on February 21, 2015, he lived for 2 hours and 10 minutes in our arms. This was my first loss and the start of one of the hardest days of my life.
We had our rainbow baby on January 26, 2016. And then on April 2021 we found out we were pregnant again, and unfortunately miscarried at 8 weeks. I got pregnant in July 2021 and things were going good at all of my appointments. I did the shots and surgery to prevent pre term labor but at 25 weeks our little girl got herself wrapped in the cord and that started my body into fight or flight mode. I went to the hospital twice and they never did an ultrasound until the 3rd time the day after Christmas when I came in. The only reason they did one was because I said she had been breech two weeks before. She had turned herself around which is why she got wrapped up.
So then came my trauma, rushed to the OR alone and they wouldn’t let my husband in until I was prepped, I couldn’t push her out (not that they didn’t try to make me) because I was only 4cm, so they put me to sleep and took her out because her heart rate was all over the place. When I woke up I didn’t know where she was, if she was okay, where my husband was and he didn’t know anything about how I was doing. Our sweet girl Charleigh-Jo was perfect at 26 weeks she looked so beautiful, after a week of fighting she went into acute renal failure and developed 2 brain bleeds and was so swollen from all the fluids that they had no way to release it from her body. We had to make the gut wrenching decision to take her off life support on January 3, 2022, she passed away 6 minutes after being taken off, she took her last breath in my husband’s arms. I don’t know how you heel from so many losses, but I am trying and please know you are not alone.