Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s Magazine | Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Edition October 2021
The Loss of Our Firstborn
Written & Photo by Bronwyn Hunter
Hello, I am Bronwyn. At 21 years old my boyfriend and I had only been together just over a month when we found out we were expecting a baby together. It didn’t start off well as after my mother found out I was kicked out of my home and living with my boyfriend’s parents who I had only met once!! Our pregnancy was great right up until our 20 weeks scan! I was super excited to know if we were having a little boy or girl, unfortunately moments after finding out she was in fact a girl the sonographer left the room to get a doctor. They talked quietly and then told us to go up to the maternity ward. I started freaking out, what was happening to our daughter, we were taken into a room and I was completely numb while they explain that our sweet Mackenna had Spina Bifida Myelomeningocele.
They let us go home and that’s when we decided it would be in her best interest to go to heaven as it was a low percentage of her making it if we went to full term. On May 3, 2016 at 5:05am I gave birth to the most beautiful Angel and she was perfect to me. I was only 22+2 weeks and I was lucky enough to pull her out and hold her before she went to sleep forever. Unfortunately when she was born we could see the nerves and vessels growing out of her spine already.
The result of her having Spina Bifida is still unknown, after specialist appointments and testing it is still unknown and we will never have answers.
In July 2016, we had the okay from the doctor to start trying again and we did with success. My boyfriend and I were now engaged and we went to our first scan at 9 weeks due to the doctor’s request. We were so excited to see our new little baby that we were adding to our family. We were shocked when the sonographer announced we were pregnant with twins!!! I couldn’t believe it until moments later she said in a quiet tone there are no heartbeats in either baby. I was broken.
In November 2016 we decided to try one last time for a baby, this time we got to have a healthy little 6 lbs 1oz l beautiful little girl we named Mikaylah. She was born August 15, 2017 and is now currently 4 years old and the absolute most sassiest little red head you will ever meet. We have always been open to her about her sissy Mackenna and she knows she’s up above in heaven watching over us.
With all that I’ve been through doesn’t come without a struggle. I have been diagnosed with post natal depression, post natal psychosis and anxiety. With this I have always been open to sharing my story and raising awareness for the Pregnancy and Infant Loss.