Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s Magazine | Bereaved Mother’s Day Edition May 2023

My Precious Angel, Dawson

Written & Photos by Fredreicka Ceaser

Oct 2020 Dawson fell down, busted open his mouth, he w ouldn’t stop bleeding for a long period. A few days later he started severely bruising and tiny red spots all over skin. Brought him to emergency room around 7:30pm and the doctor did bloodwork told us he would call if they found something. At 10pm I received a call that Dawson was to be seen at The Janeway Children’s Hospital first thing in the morning at the Oncology department. Early that morning we got ready as it was about 4 hour drive to get there. He was admitted right away and given blood and platelet transfusion. Week after week and month after month we were doing the same thing sometimes 3x a week. It was very stressful as I had 6 year old twin boys home too. Dawson was only 4, turning 5 in November, not knowing the reason as to why only bone marrow failure. Test after test and an option was to have a bone marrow transplant. 

Which we decide to do May 2021 at Toronto Sick Kids Hospital. They told us it was for the best as we had no clue why his bone marrow was failing. Thinking this would be good as had a perfect match. So off we went, everything went well with a few minor setbacks, nothing major. We were sent back home to Newfoundland, Canada with follow ups. All still going well and had a set back a few weeks after getting home, but then back to normal again. September he started coughing so I figured he was getting a cold as his immune system was down and couldn’t take anything or it. He was still having test done and levels were still good. November, he was really sick one morning and it was a Friday, I had called his doctor and told them the issue brought him to the emergency room where they ran tests and gave him meds and put him in the ambulance where he was transported to the children’s hospital. They told us his liver was failing. I was in total shock and still am, considering he had tests done 2 days before. How could this be. The liver levels should have shown up in his tests.

He was admitted into the hospital and things got worst for him. He was in a regular ward not ICU on Friday and by Saturday evening he was being kept warm with a vacuum kind heat blanket. Ally medication had to be warmed before given to him. He was like this constantly. Loosing his IV’s cause blood was too cold. Wednesday, he was doing better or it seemed. They wanted to try new medication on him that the doctors from Toronto figured might work. In the meantime he ate and drank up this point, plus using washroom. They wanted to put in a new pic line so as they wouldn’t have to be picking and probing him all the time. Took him down to surgery which normally takes 20-30 min but this time he was gone about 6hrs. I panicked and was freaking out. Also, on Thursday the doctor came said they are sending him to Halifax by air transport but had to wait for the bids to come in to see who would get the contract. Now my son is nothing but a money figure. I asked why our own air transport couldn’t take him, they said due to Covid. 

Like how could this be happening. Ridiculous I thought so I heard a team was coming Saturday night take him to Halifax, then to Toronto sucks. I was relieved, but by Friday he was turning worst so they took him to ICU. Saturday night, the team came and couldn’t take him cause they didn’t have the equipment but was going to borrow what he was on and using. By the time everything was straightened out Dawson became unstable. He couldn’t travel like that. The team said they would come back early in the am to try again but the doctors told them that the air transport from Toronto sick kids would be coming to get him on Sunday at 2pm. So they could go back to Hamilton, Ontario. Sunday came and no Air transport for Dawson. I was in panic mode, freaking out, out of my mind etc. no one told us they weren’t coming. 

In the meantime my husband was in Toronto waiting for him to arrive as he had flown from Fort McMurray Alberta. This was unacceptable. At 4:30 pm our own air transport from NL Janeway Hospital came to the hospital to take him. By the time he was all re-hooked up and ready to go, he was dying minute by minute. They wouldn’t take him, the doctor told me to treat this like a tragic accident. I wanted to kill her right then and there and to this day I still feel that way. He should of been in ICU, he should of been transported to Toronto sick kids the day he was admitted in as he wasn’t even 6 months post transplant. I feel his little life could have been spared if they were so negligent and just had listened to me when I kept saying something wasn’t right that whole week. 

Why don’t they listen to the ones who are with them 24hrs a day 7 days a week. I pray to him every night to say how sorry I am that we couldn’t do more for him and that no one listened to us. There’s more to this story but can’t put it all in there. 

Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s Magazine