Hi this is my son Nicolas! He’s a stillborn.. I’m still struggling to hold on, I guess this will be forever. On June 12 ,2018 got a pregnancy test I was so used to negative results, that I couldn’t believe I was seeing 2 stripes!! I gave so many thanks to God, I didn’t talk to no one else for 15 minutes. I had my moment with God and told him Thank you!!! It finally happened! I was so full of joy, and hope, waiting for a miracle for 5 years with fertility problems I can’t believe it happen!
My older son hear myself say that would fill my heart older son. Everyday was a day closer to you, I had bleeding at 11 weeks, I was mad, upset..and really scared but there you were my boy Nicolas moving and heart beating fast I still had hope I just had to rest. October 14 GENDER REVEAL…it’s a boy!!! My son cried he always wanted a brother!
But then I started to lose some morning sickness it was weird but i guess i had to lose it some day.
Monday November 5 at 9 am, I saw the look on the girl that was doing check up routine.
I knew I just knew and i ask her did you just check the heart? She nod with her head NO
Then a she left, my heart was pounding, something was wrong.
The doctor came in and told me those words “There’s No HEARTBEAT SORRY” I cried like so hard the baddest tantrum ever I screamed Noo..
I had to deliver him, at 24 weeks, when he finally came I had to see him I still couldn’t believe I was pregnant and now not. My son Nicolás changed my life can’t Say yet for a good purpose. I lost just a little faith but still holding on.
Hi Nichole! I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray that God blesses you with the strength you need to get through everyday. By making a stand and telling your story is very brave and I commend you. You don’t realize that you just helped someone else who is struggling to tell their story. You’re very strong woman.
I totally understand how you feel about being sad, lost and upset. When you are feeling sad and upset, look to the God who created you and remember that He wants you, and He is near to you. I want you to know that you’re not alone and your precious angel Nicolas is watching over you and his big brother. What you are feeling right now is normal but you won’t feel that way for long. I want you to pray everyday and give it all to God. Then I want you to find something you enjoy doing like taking a walk, reading a book, go eat at your favorite restaurant, spend time with loved ones and etc. Basically, I want you to do something that will bring you happiness, peace and joy, don’t let depression control your life.
Nicolas is in good hands, the Lord is telling him all about you and his big brother. Always think positive, that’s something I had to learn myself. He’s always with you even when you feel alone and I want you to know that I’m here for you as well. Keep trusting God, He knows exactly what you’re going through and only God can bring you through it. I’m keep you and your family lifted up in my prayers and whenever you need to talk I’m here.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:18-19
Great to read your story Nichole. Sorry for your loss. I do believe that from hardship there will be greatness. I know that Nicola will be looking down on you and supporting you in all that you do.
Stay strong