Hi my name is Hope. My beautiful baby girl Haylee Lynn was born June 24, 2019. She was born 3 weeks early and the complete answer to our prayers , as we have been trying for 11 years.
Back in January (January 14th to be exact) we finally decided to go to the Advanced Fertility Clinic in Odessa, Tx to give it one more go but medically this time. We started our appointment normally but when doing the ultrasound the nurse left for a few minutes and came back with the doctor. Come to find out we were 14 weeks pregnant.
Fast forward to July 2019 , we aren’t from Midland , we are there for work three weeks out of the month and then a week back home in Arkansas. We had Haylee on the day we returned back to Midland. Weighing in at 6 lbs 6 oz and 19 in long on June 24. July 13th we traveled to our home in Arkansas so we could introduce her to the family the next day. We took her to my aunt’s house for a BBQ. She got to meet her great grandparents and cousins on both sides of the family. It was the perfect day, she was wide awake, smiling and smelled so good and so very cute in her blue dress with a pink ribbon around the waist and a pink butterfly ( it had a hat but it was too big for her little head). It was almost surreal of how perfect it was.
Sunday night we went home did our nightly routine, put Haylee in her co sleeper and she went to sleep perfectly fine. Her dad checked on her at 2am then our entire lives changed at 5:30 am on Monday July 15th at 3 weeks old our baby girl gained her wings.
The detectives treated our home like a crime scene taking our sheets and Haylee’s blanket. At the hospital they wouldn’t even let us hold her one last time. We kissed her little cheeks before they took her. For two weeks we had to wait for them to tell us what we already knew. I know myself nor my husband had hurt her. Playing the what if game or I could have done something different, I thought hearing the words ” it was declared SIDS” would make me feel better because I would have an answer but it’s the not knowing because with SIDS there’s no reasoning or prevention for it. A parent can do everything right and still lose their baby.
My husband and I are still trying to have another baby which was the plan all along because it took so long to get pregnant with Haylee….. We don’t want to replace her there’s no replacing her but still trying to become the best parents that we know we are.
I was so upset because to me I was no longer a mom but a person at the funeral told me that I was still very much a mom just a different kind, a very special kind. My child has wings and that spoke volumes to me !